"Nil by Mouth",  "Sips of  Water",  "Clear Fluids", 
 
You can measure my progress by the the change of signs at the head of my bed.  By his evening, if I'm really lucky, (no vomiting, normal bowels, etc) then I get to 'Rice water'.  Rice water is a sort of gruel that HK hospitals dole out to people who have not been eating or have sensitive gastric linings.  Very simple, nourishing, and surprisingly comforting I'm told. Can't wait to find out he says, with only a mild hint of sarcasm.  What I have been craving for days now is marmite toast. Though I'd take blueberry jam.  Hmm food fantasies. Let's not go there.
 
Hunger is a good thing.  It means that the magic milkshake IV bag that's been dripping into me for the past 20 hours is empty so I can be unplugged! Freedom! The few hours a day I get without any sort of IV drip plugged in are  special.  Just being able to walk around the bed or go to the bathroom without having to drag the IV stand along is like having a nagging headache for hours and then realising that it's stopped.  It wasn't so bad really - but life is much more pleasant without it.
 
But hey - look at it on the general scale of unpleasantness. If all I'm complaining about is having to drag a stand around then things have to be better! A couple of weeks ago the IV stand didn't even register compared to the state of my mouth and my general malaise. And a couple of weeks before that I was so far out on the chemo scale that I was hardly aware of it at all.
Time.  Small Steps. Progress.
 
As a side note - I think these IV stands must be related to supermarket shopping carts, and airport luggage trolleys. They all have one dodgy wheel that makes them spin off in odd directions. But I digress.
 
Tomorrow they will begin to reduce my steroids and immunosuppressants gradually and see whether the rashes etc. return. More on that as it happens.
 
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Last night I had my first night of unbroken sleep in weeks. I think it was probably wonderful but I don't remember. I was completely blacked out for 8 hours.  A side effect of one of the drugs I'm on is that it raises my blood pressure - so they've been giving me beta-blockers to lower it again. A side effect of the beta-blockers is that they give me vivid dreams that keep waking me up.  Another drug with a side effect is the steroids - these make it really hard to sleep - from the notes I took  on Sunday night I didn't manage more than 30 minutes sleep at any point through the night.
 
So yesterday they shifted my evening injection and combined it with the morning one to give me a chance to clear my body by evening, and then, for the first time in my life that I can remember, I requested a sleeping pill. 
 
I don't know why - but I have never liked the idea of taking pills to help me sleep. I dont usually have problems sleeping - but if I do I'll happily listen to relaxation tapes, drink herb teas, sniff oils, do breathing exercises, play calming music, meditate, avoid stimulants, whatever it takes. I just dont take pills to make me sleep.
 
But yesterday I did - (hey I'm in hospital, taking a dozen other meds a day - it's hardly likely to be habit forming...) and boy did it work. I was so far gone that for the first time in 5 weeks I dont even remember the 4.00 am fairy coming in to take my blood pressure and temperature.  I'm sure she did come in but my consciousness was somewhere else far far away....... 
  
Useful. An interesting experience, but not one for every night.  Unless the side-effect monster has been hiding under the bed for a few days...